I was looking through my facebook friends list to see how many ppl on the list i've hooked up with, and was effectively reminded of my failed friendships, relationships, fuck budy-ships, friends with benefits, and "i cant remember if i ever did shit with him but we're awkward now" ships.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Randomize
