Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
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