just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Do not buy whiskey under any circumstances. There should be a UN sanctioned buffer zone between me and Seagrams.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Also, I'm kinda hungover this morning and I need to wire money to my lawyer. So this is what adulthood feels like
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
Randomize
