He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
