Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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