Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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