he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
You grinded and hooked up with a middle aged tiger woods look-a-like with manboobs. Tequila isn't for you.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
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