I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Went to the doctor's today. The lady took one look at my throat and said "oh god"
Too much penis in there.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
You made out with two different species that night
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
