And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
