when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip 😂😂😂
Your skills amaze me
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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