he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
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At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
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Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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