Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
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