Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
After we had sex he went to the kitchen, came back with a bag of funyuns and ate them buck ass naked in his bedroom doorway. Had no idea how to react to that one.
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
Randomize
