I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
