I will die if light touches me.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
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