my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
Randomize