Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
