I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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