my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Fuck me I smell like cheese
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
