....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
i think im in europe. pls send help
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
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