I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Houston, we have a blender
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
