Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
Randomize
