i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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