i permit you to call me
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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