Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
What the fuck happened last night.... I woke up with a bowl half full of ravioli next to my head, reversed on my bed still fully clothed.....
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
Randomize
