it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
