My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
