i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
Randomize
