just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
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