her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
