It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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