And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
