guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
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I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
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I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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