there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
It's a sign that no dudes december is about to start: I have a yeast infection.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
