Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize