I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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