The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
