yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
