So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
I can't wait to see you, I've been doing mouth stretches for the past 2 days
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
