is your mom at the bar?
All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
Just remembered to take my BC at the liquor store. Just swallowed it with a free sample of Whiskey.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
