just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Randomize
