just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
Randomize
