I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
