put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
I need a beard to bite.
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize