i will never coherently bang her
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
Randomize
