Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't send me heart emojis when you're jacking off.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I wish period tracker had a "on this day" also so i can see who i was with this day last year.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize