Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
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iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
Just found my socks folded and in the back pocket of my jeans. Apparently drunk me refuses to lose shit after the panties incident over New Years.
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You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
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