Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
