i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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