No, a stripper letting you buy her dinner is not the same as a girlfriend.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
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I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
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