So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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