so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
Randomize
