I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I justified spending $400 stocking my bar to my sister by saying it was an investment
Personally I think it's a tremendous investment
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Using the only finger i can move, i calculated body mass, intake and time. It's mathematically impossible for me to still have this hangover at 9pm. I passed out at 8pm last night. Fuck vodka.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Randomize
