How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
