He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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