dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
People were staring and acting all judgmental and offended... Like they've never seen anyone breastfeed in a liquor store.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
