He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I wish pancakes were everywhere. Just pancakes. I want lilies at my wedding. No dress. Just priest. Just lilies.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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