He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
i swear to god even though i took those meds before coming here i did not hallucinate zulema silently throwing up into a breakfast burrito
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
