This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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