none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
You know when its a good night when you have to be reminded IHOP is a family establishment.
You got my ass fired just for knowing you
thanks for the bacon
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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